Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Back to the familiar…feeling unfamiliar

This transition back to Buenos Aires was a little bit more difficult than the first time that I arrived.  I realized that trying to fit too many events into a short period of time while being at home made it extremely challenging to accomplish all that I had intended to do.  This left me feeling incomplete when I returned to Buenos Aires and in a bit of a melancholic mood.  There was a short period of the all too familiar homesickness that I had experienced in Spain.  But that quickly passed and became an urge to just enclose myself and get my head straight before plunging back into the city that had become so familiar that it had lost its enchantment.

This was one of the changes that I had to recognize and overcome in order to combat this small hole before it grew any larger.  Buenos Aires had turned into the place where I felt comfortable – my routine was pretty well set, I could easily navigate my way around, I had a group of friends with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time, and my life was here…but the spark of the honeymoon days were over…and fall had set in.  Living in a new city really is like getting into a committed relationship.  It starts out with constant adventures and new parts to explore; and you find yourself learning so much in a short period of time that it seems like the momentum will never stop.  But then there comes a point where stability sets in and you start to enjoy the comforts of not having to make as much of an effort to enjoy time together…you begin to frequent the same restaurants, go to the same neighborhoods, spend your weekends in, slow down your rhythm…and life just continues without too much intended commotion.

Particularly after the previous three crazy weeks in the U.S., I was yearning to be able to settle down and accept the fact that BA and I had just fit into our niche and there wasn’t a need to search for something different.  Luckily, living in Buenos Aires is like being in a relationship with somebody who can take it easy when needed…go to the park to drink mate, spend an afternoon browsing the shop windows and the ferias, take in a free concert…but it can also pick up the pace and offer something never expected.  I needed to find my balance between working toward the goals that I had intended on completing here, while continuing to find the little crevices of the city that kept me enamored.  So, I set my schedule to allow for some true dedication to my personal advancement while leaving spaces for new experiences.

Another factor that left me feeling a bit unbalanced was the change in seasons.  I consciously chose to come to the southern hemisphere during Minnesota’s winter, and that worked very smoothly for my seasonal emotions from February through April.  Unfortunately, the first part of Minnesota’s May didn’t offer me its beautiful pastel spring days and when I returned to Buenos Aires, the fall crispness that I had left behind was still in the air, but the nice warm touch had been sucked out and replaced with strong winds and rain.  The weather is something that I have no control over and must learn how to work around.  This is definitely the hardest part – as the temperatures are slowly decreasing here and Minnesota’s are spiking.  But I can learn to accommodate to it for six weeks.

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